The Toughest, yet the best year

                In every year, there have been new challenges that we face every now and then. Some might be easy, some might be tough, yet we still need to conquer them all. This year, our 3^rd year days, have not been an exception.

                Every now and then, we ask ourselves what we were doing. Sometimes, we don’t have a clue on what we should have done, or what we should never do but how could we learn and take a step forward if we would be hindered by different possibilities? By chances? How could we learn if we’re afraid to try? How could we improve if we would just sit back and don’t do anything? There’s no way around, and that’s what have been thought.

                Being spoon-fed by teachers is just like inability to move themselves. If us, students, couldn’t learn alone, then, we wouldn’t learn how to be better people that could help our society. Spoon-feeding is the total opposite of our classes, especially in English. They teach us, yet we learn ourselves. Even if they leave us, we know what to do.

              Everything has basically changed because of this year and this year’s teachers. It’s not that I wanted to compare them but you could definitely see the difference in diligence, generally.

                Before, English was just like a burden for me. It was some sort of additional projects, additional one hour of classes, since elementary. It’s not that I hated English, it’s just that I can’t find myself liking, nevertheless loving, the subject. But everything has changed right now.

                I have learned a lot of things, and most would be treasured. I have experienced a lot of hardships and surpassed them all. Most of the things were enjoyed, even though they should be worked hard for. This third year, especially English III, is one of the best, if not the best, is one of the best I’ve ever experienced.

                Memories would last forever and English III had given me a lot. Those speech activities that took the efforts of our group were so memorable. The jazz chant, the recital of the Passionate Shepherd to his Love and the Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd, the conventional speech choir and the individual recital of the oration, were all done. It took effort, but of course, all of those weren’t wasted.

                Memories would last and would be cherished forever, just like how English III, especially Ma’am May, would be in my heart. All the lessons taught, either intellectually, emotionally, or morally, would be kept inside my mind, and of course, my mind. 

Sincere Sorry

006A Sta. Cruz St. 

Tanza, Cavite

February 10, 2014

Dear Mama, 

          Ma, I know that I have done bad deeds against other people, most especially you, but I hope that you could forgive me. Sorry for all those mistakes that I have done and I hope that all of those would be cleared out. You have done too much, yet I couldn't even reciprocate even just a few. I hope that you understand my sudden mood changes because of tiredness but I also know I couldn't use that as an excuse. I hope that you wouldn't get that mad at me everytime those happens but being rude whenever I'm in a bad mood is almost automatic for me. Sorry. 

         Everytime we would have an argument, I always end up in the losing side and get annoyed. Sorry for that and I hope that we would have less arguments in the future. I don't want a big fight to come and bother our family, especially if the cause would be me.

     Everytime I'm untouchable and unapproachable, I hope you could bear with me. Sometimes, automatically, I get mad when I'm interrupted while doing my works and unconsciously bother you. Sorry for that. 

        You have made enough sacrifices. I don't want you to do more tough things. You deserve a rest. Again, I'm truly sorry. 

Terribly sorry,

James

Am I just an ordinary guy? Good thing, I’m not.

      I was an ordinary guy. I never knew what made me special. I was just a guy who transferred to a different school when I wasn’t mature enough. I was stuttering for every single word I said since I wasn’t even familiar with that environment. 

        I reacted just like any other person would have. 

       I studied lessons whenever I needed to. I had done everything just like any other person would have done. I didn’t even have confidence. I didn’t even have a talent or a subject, a thing where I would excel at, before. 

       I saw other people and I saw my characteristics at them. I’m at a point in my life when I’m too low, even in a point when I didn’t even trust myself. 

       I’m not fvcking special, for goodness’ sake. 

N.O.T.F.V.C.K.I.N.G.S.P.E.C.I.A.L

...

...

...

N-ever-endingly immature though I want to change, and be mature, for my own betterment.

O-pen to people who want to befriend me, who want to be close to me, who want to know me, but I’m always hesitant to do that for other people. 

T-enacious with things that are special with me though I hate people that are too clingy. 

F-rightened to take the first step and initiate actions, though deep inside me, I wanted to do it so badly. 

V-ulnerable to sharp words from insensitive people though sometimes, I wanted to hear them for encouragement and to prove myself from them. 

C-urious to find all answers to all questions I shouldn’t even have sniffed my nose into even though my mind tells me not to do so. 

K-ind to people who understand me, my character, and my attitude, though I’m the total opposite to those who had totally misunderstood me. 

I-nclined to things that I seriously put my effort into though I’m too lazy to put up decency on my efforts. 

N-oisy, loud and annoying though I also easily get annoyed to people with those characteristics. 

G-lad everytime someone gives me positive comments regarding what I do that sometimes I hate myself for being so flattered. 

S-eeking for attention though I’m not demanding it. 

P-roud, and always proud of being an otaku, no matter how far the circumstances would go. 

E-xcessively happy everytime I did the right thing to do then realize that I went overboard with my celebration. 

C- an’t help but to always feel left out whenever something happens though I don’t even know why. 

I- nterested in things that caught my attention in my first glance and almost give no attention to those which failed to do so. 

A-ddicted to Math, and anything related to that though when I was about 4 years old, it was the only thing that I hated too much. 

L-azy enough to not do a single important thing in a single day. I’m lazy enough that even if you give me a whole week to do easy homeworks, I’ll still do it the day before it’s needed. 

       All of those might not make me special. In the 7 billion people in the world, It’s too improbable for a person to have the same name, same looks, and same characteristics as mine but that goes for the other people as well. 

       All of us are different and unique in some way. There are always differences from people to people, cities to cities, and countries to countries. That’s constant. 

       I don’t even know what sparked this but I started to believe myself more and more after each day. I seriously changed if you compare me from my start in this school up to now, I could see my poor self about 2 years ago and I felt that I was just crap. 

      As I said, all people are unique in one way or another and I think that I realized that that’s why I changed. I don’t know when or how but it all just happened. Yes, I’m definitely special, in a way. 

       What makes me stand out, I think, is how I believe that I am me, and that no one has the right to change me from acting like James Allen Dy, acting like who I really am. I battle out frustrations like James Allen Dy. I overcome depressions like James Allen Dy. I enjoy myself like James Allen Dy. I study like James Allen Dy. I do everything just like James Allen Dy. WHY? It’s because, James Allen Dy is me. 

      I wouldn’t change myself just because someone has told me to do so. If I would be proud about something, that’s the pride of not changing myself, and also stand for my own right and own good.

        I found myself. I knew me. I am special. 

I Love Them Too Much that I Don’t Know What to Do Without Them

Dear God, 

       This is a poem to show you, Lord, how much I wanted to thank you for giving me the extraordinary parents that anyone would love. 

“Lord, thank you for giving me something so precious

They were the people who made me self-conscious

Of my actions that might have been too obnoxious

Lord, they also helped me from not being too anxious

Of the future actions that I would surely do,

Those actions that I definitely, could not undo

Even when I was a little kid at the age of two,

They didn’t waver at my peskiness even just a few.

They were the people who showed me the way

They didn’t miss a step, they did it everyday

Every time I cried, they knew what to say

Every time I stumbled, they didn’t go away

I take my hats off for the guidance they showed me

They’re so precious to me, I don’t know how to thank thee

I know this is not enough to request for this plea,

But I want to see their faces full of glee

Please let me show them that I could get a degree”

       Yes I know that a poem would never be enough to thank you but I don’t know how to give my gratitude to you, Lord, for how much you have blessed me with wonderful parents. I knew some people who, unluckily, had their parents pass away, that’s why here I am, thanking you for the opportunity you have given me to enjoy every moment I’m going to spend with them. I had had so many blessings but I don’t think that there is something better than having such lovely parents. I could go miles and distances just to prove to you, Lord, that I’m sincere in thanking you. 

       The people with parents that had passed away were left grieving, and in tears. Seeing myself in that situation had caused me to go haywire and not think of that again. I couldn’t imagine or I wouldn’t want to imagine, just yet, how my life would turn out without them by my side, every now and then, helping me with my problems, no matter how tough it is for them already. 

       Just before I was born, they were already having enough troubles with some things. They’ve got two children before me, they were having problems with my mom’s pregnancy, and other things, but they decided to push through and give birth to me. That’s enough sacrifice and that was even when I was born. They had enough hard times, and I can’t help to think that I am continuously adding to that. I definitely want to change that. 

       After I was born, they decided to take care of me, even handling my peskiness when I was a little toddler. They sacrificed their time just to guide me and pave the way for my future. They literally, and figuratively, did everything just for me. 

       They were my foundation and nothing or something is going to change that. Most of the things that I know, most of the time, morally, are all thanks to them. They taught me how to live my life for myself, and for others. They taught me how to live my life to the fullest. 

       They are always there for me, whenever I’m emotionally unstable. They are always there whenever I’m having problems with my studies, with other people, and with friends. They were never absent when I needed guidance. I don’t really know what to do without that guidance. They are always standing beside me and ready to catch me whenever I would fall. 

       Yes, we often get to arguments. Sometimes, I do the wrong things and I couldn’t help but to go into arguments with them. I think that it is unavoidable but I try my best to quickly say sorry and make up with them. I quickly try to erase the mistakes that I have done and learn a lesson from that, that I also learned from them. 

       There’s no other people’s presence that could change and make the same impact in my life just like theirs’. They’re always going to be the largest part of my life. They are my parents and no matter what happen, even if the dinosaurs revive, even if Hitler comes back to life, even if writers stop writing mangas, even if the animators stop animating animes, I will always love them and deep inside my heart, you could see them there. 

A loving son

What Must Have Transpired for You, Regrets, to Come and Bother Me Now?

       Time just flew so fast that I cannot help but to feel blue. I had made things happen that never once in my life again, I would want to see come true. Life’s just been miserable, that I don’t want to repeat those mistakes. Now, they’re starting to haunt me back, giving me nightmares. 

       Oh, Regrets, what have I done, for you to do this to me, to scare me in my dreams and to bind my shadows down?

       I forced myself to transfer schools, without knowing the consequences of going far not just from my home, but also from my second home. Don’t get my idea wrong, there is no way that I would regret learning and experiencing and facing challenges here in this school. It’s just that I let my friends hanging, without a last high-five, without saying a proper goodbye, and even without shedding a single tear. 

       We didn’t have a proper communication, only in Facebook where we rarely talked, if not never. That was just too improper, and too immoral for my stand against myself. I should even have said something to them before I went away and not be with them anymore. It’s just too regrettable, that I know that even if it was just a little bit, they cared for me, yet I wasn’t able to bid them a proper farewell. 

       Regrets started to swallow me up in the vacation of 2nd year when one of my classmates was about to go to Canada. I always saw and talked to her since she was also studying in CavSci. She had a despedida party on her home and all almost all of her classmates, including me, were invited. 

       I didn’t know that it would be that tough, to face them, even just stand straight in front of them. My confidence was shattered even before actually seeing one of them. Good thing the day ended pretty much quickly that I didn’t need to talk with them that much, though I prayed I could have talked to them so that I could face them normally. I failed though. 

       Tie me up and I would just want to lie down. Hide from the consequences that came back and haunted me down. I wanted to run away but I couldn’t find a step. It shut me down, the scarce of courage had really brought me down. 

       I gave up, I stuttered, then gained my confidence back. 

       Meeting them wasn’t unavoidable. I live too close from my old school that sometimes, even if I go home late, I could still see them walking away from school. Sometimes we exchanged ‘hi’s , and sometimes we just passed by each other. 

       I bet that it was a non-issue for them anymore. I thought that they didn’t even care anymore. Time just flew so fast that I cannot help but to feel blue. I wasn’t able to say a proper sorry until about 2 or 3 years later. Right now, I could face them normally, talk to them with ease, and share our stories. 

       I couldn’t deny that it was my fault since it really was. I regret that I needed them to approach me so that I could just talk to them. All I could do now is try to approach them and initiate the conversation to make up from previous mistakes but if I had done something before, then there’s no pain in my heart. 

       Just last night, I had a conversation with one of my friends in elementary. I felt so happy about how she wished me good luck about my studies. I bet starting from that night, every time I would face them, it would be a bright one, full of promises, just like a sunrise that wouldn’t stop shining brightly. 

       Just one thing to remember for some people who have done something wrong: Don’t dwell on your mistakes too much. You could forget it once you have said sorry. Forget your mistakes, but take the lesson. Don’t be too shy and initiate the conversation once you’re wrong. Be strong, be confident, and be brave. 

       “I believe in second chances, I just don’t think that everyone deserves them”. 

       Try to be you. You deserve a second chance once you show your true self. Don’t put a mask on. Be confident about your own personality and your own self. Just be true until it’s too late. If tomorrow never comes, you are in trouble. 

Changed My Life? Maybe Yes, or Not?

I started to stutter. I tried my hardest not to lose my focus especially while talking to him. I tried to recover myself from the star struck I am continuously getting without even talking to him yet. Good thing I can hear some sounds from firecrackers to relieve myself from nervousness and stress. By the way, this was an evening of December 31, a New Year's Eve. 

I might sound like a stalker but I knew his house and that’s where I set my appointment. First, it would be easier to fulfill my purpose and so giving me the advantage. It wasn’t half-bad for him either since I didn’t require him to travel. Spending his special day with me is such a blessing though.

As I said a while ago, it was New Year’s Eve. Spending it in Japan was terribly amazing though. I had few a lot of detours in Japan. Stepping my feet in Japan is like half my mission though to have the quest rewards, I need to finish it a hundred percent.  

            I stood outside his house, waiting for his response, while watching the fireworks light the whole city up. It was a fantastic view. If you think of it as a tip for the waiter, it’s like enough for a whole month pay already. I might say it was a blessing in disguise that he was half an hour late for our appointment.

            He opened the gate up and let me inside his house.

"Hi Good Sir. I want to thank you for responding on my invitation and even celebrate the new year, your birthday, with me. I want to have a talk with you about certain topics, most likely, your ongoing masterpiece, Oda-sensei.

“Drop the formalities, my dear visitor. I am always ready to accept invitations even they are in my special days. Calling me Oda-sensei and having my work, One Piece, being called a masterpiece, is such an honor.”

            Oda-sensei, or Eiichiro Oda, for me, is a part of history, not just for Japan, but also for the whole world. He had written the highest-selling manga (Japanese comics) of all time, One Piece. In my perspective, Eiichiro Oda had made the most impact amongst the ‘mangaka’s.

            *Note: A mangaka is to manga just like an author is to a book.

            Now, to continue with our conversation,

            “No, not really. One Piece is truly a masterpiece. No matter how you look at it, that manga has influenced lots of people’s lives. Most fans even refresh a hundred times every Wednesday evening while waiting for a new chapter release.”

            “Oh, now. I’m really glad to hear that. Knowing that One Piece fans are waiting second by second for the new chapter release pleasures me. I just hope that you’re not disappointed every time I take a sick break.”

            “You know Oda-sensei, we might get a little bit pissed off but all we can do is wait and pray for you to recover. You’re like our savior, you know”

            “Your praises make me feel good too much. I’m really glad that you think of me that way. I need to try better and harder so that I can please you guys, the best fans in the world, more.”

            “Don’t mind us, sensei. Just take care of your health and every effort would be appreciated.”

            “By the way, James, oh wait, what should I call you, James or James-kun?”

            “James would be fine, sensei.”

            “Ok, James, why do you fans even like the way I write my stories? Why did you choose me for this interview?

            “Oda-sensei, you have the best tactics in writing that I had ever seen in my life. You mad history, Oda-sensei. You are the best mangaka for me and I think that wouldn’t change for a while. You have written the longest manga and the views and the copies sold aren’t wavering down. In fact, it keeps rising and rising. No one could deny that.”

            “I have a question, James. I know I still have a room for improvement so that I could entertain you fans more and I just want to know what exactly is it in my writing that my fans, generally, or you, personally, like?”

            “Your ability to write cliffhangers without pissing off anyone is one of the reasons. You can write stories continuously without getting out off the plot and staying in the topic, you never get lost. You never go against what you had written before for better plot. You find ways to improve everything without breaking anything. All in all, I just admire the way you write. You have an exceptional talent.”

            “After hearing someone praise me like that, I don’t even know if I can’t get flustered after this point of our conversation.” *both laughs out loud*

NOTE: The next part of the conversation would have something about One Piece’s, Oda-sensei’s manga, plot and everything Oda-sensei would be saying regarding the possible happenings is not true, except if we have the same minds. XD.

            “Oda-sensei, continuing with our conversation, after One Piece’s latest chapter, which is chapter 733, what would we expect of our protagonists, the Straw Hat Pirates, to do? I know I might be going unfair against the other fans but it really excites me.”

            “What excites you, exactly, in the on-going plot?”

            “Uhm, I mean Law is in Doflamingo’s custody and Luffy is trying to save him. I mean, he is clearly an underdog against the warlord Doflamingo and the way you showed things pretty much clear up a Zoro vs. Fujitora, a swordsman match-up. Now, Sanji is pretty much in deep trouble vs. Big Mom’s pirate crew, maybe, Big Mom’s even there. Franky is in a fight against Senor Pink and Usopp and Robin are on their way against Sugar and Trebol. Then, you just showed signs of dead being alive, through Sabo. I just think that this might be your breakout arc after the timeskip. Everything is so epic and I’m just literally giving my reaction of the current arc. The epicness never ends.”

            “Ok, I think that I might spoil some stuff with you and I’m giving you bits of details. To start off, SABO is definitely alive and he’s going to get the Mera Mera no Mi, his and Luffy’s brother’s devil fruit. That might be a little bit obvious though. Zoro would be holding off Fujitora though would be losing in the end. Franky, Usopp, and Robin would be successful. Sanji is doomed but let’s see if he could survive. For Luffy, I have no comment. That’s the main event. All you can do is wait. Sorry but that’s all I can give.”

            “Oda-sensei, do you want me to hate on you. “

            “James, please no. I just can’t give you all of the details.”

            “I’m just kidding, Oda-sensei. I would never hate you.”

            “Phew. By the way James, want to see the framework of the new chapter?”

            “Sure. Thanks a lot, Oda-sensei.”

            They went to Oda-sensei’s workshop.

            “Wait, Oda-sensei, Sabo’s going to show up the next chapter? Really? I’ve been like waiting for that since chapter 731 where he was about to show up. You know, this would be like one of the best chapters ever. Thanks, Oda-sensei”

            “That was what the fans wanted and I would reciprocate the support you give me and also, read the next parts a little bit quieter. What you’re going to see is true. There are no flukes. We want to lessen the spoilers, you know.”

            “On your command, Oda-sensei”

            “Hey, stop talking like that, James. I just showed you the next chapter upload and it would be uploaded later too so it’s not that bad.”

            After the tour to the workshop, I went to say goodbye.

            “Oda-sensei, seriously, I enjoyed this a lot. Thanks for the warm welcome and helping me and make me look forward more to your manga. The story is just the best though I think Kishimoto (Naruto’s mangaka) has a better looking workshop though.”

            “Hey, James, are you serious?”

            “Of course not, you’re the best in each and every way. By the way, unfortunately, I need to say goodbye and I need to go back on my home.”

            “Thanks for the visit, James”

            “Oda-sensei, I might return though. See you again. Don’t forget that there would always be a fan looking forward to every chapter you release.”

            That marks the end of my adventure and talk with Oda-sensei. By the way, if you didn’t understand because of the unfamiliar names, I was just asking for a spoiler of the future chapters.